It takes courage to ask a question in a public forum. Whether it’s at a large conference, a town hall meeting, a classroom, or a business presentation, it takes guts to ask a question in a public forum. But asking questions is what turns the presentation from a lecture into a meaningful conversation. Questions make presentations much more engaging. The audience can add significant value to any public presentation….but only if audience members are willing to engage, and to stick their necks out and ask questions of the speakers.
I learned this important lesson while attending the Women’s Day event at the Travelers Championship golf tournament. And that lesson is “Stand up if you want to be seen and heard.” And I mean, literally, stand up. Have the courage to get up out of your chair and ask your question. And for bonus points, say your name before you ask your question.
Easy to say, harder to do. Truth be told I did none of these smart things while attending the Women’s Day event. It was a lot easier to find a seat and settle in quietly. I did find the courage to ask a question during the Q&A session. I bravely raised my hand high and waited to be acknowledged. I waited patiently until they passed the microphone to me, slowly making its way down the row to my seat. Then I asked a question that I really did want to hear the answer to.
But it wasn’t until after the speaker answered my question that I realized I had made a big mistake. I had asked my question while staying seated. Why did I do that? Because no one else stood up when asking a question? Was it because I was afraid and didn’t want to stand out? Or was I concerned at a deep unconscious level that my question and I might not be good enough?
Can you find me in the crowd? I’m the one sitting down, safe and secure in my own chair, doing what they tell me to do. “Look at the camera, and SMILE.”
Remember why you showed up in the first place
I came to this event for reasons similar to those of many other motivated, professional women: to network, to be inspired, to be refreshed, to have fun, and to listen and learn from guest speakers, including renowned chef Ming Tsai, and Cynthia McFadden, senior legal and investigative correspondent for NBC News.
At one point during the panel discussion between Cynthnia McFadden and moderator Lisa Caputa, who serves as Executive Vice President and Chief Marketing and Communications Officer for The Travelers Companies, the topic of equal pay came up. Cynthia told a story of a time in her career when she was offered a news anchor position at a new TV station. When she learned that they were offering her exactly half the pay of what the outgoing male anchor was earning, she questioned her boss as to why this was the case. He told her matter-of-factly that she was getting less because she didn’t have a wife and child to support. Her predecessor did. The boss also told Cynthia that if she didn’t like it, she didn’t have to take the job.
What was Cynthia McFadden’s advice to me on the issue of Pay Inequity?
IT’S NOT OKAY
“Wage gaps between men and women are not okay. It’s a problem that’s been going on for way too long. It’s needs to be fixed.”
– Cynthia McFadden, NBC News Correspondent
- Raise your voice.
- Vote.
- Tell the media, if you are experiencing wage gap issues based on gender discrimination and are willing to let the media use your story to raise the issue in the news.
- Advocate for yourself, and advocate for other women.
Stand up and insert your ideas into the discussion
While I’m not ready to go on TV about the issue of pay inequity, an issue that I care deeply about, I realized in this experience that there are subtle things that professional women and others can do to assert themselves and insert their ideas into important discussions.
We don’t have to remain quiet, afraid, polite, or stuck in our unconscious programming to be the “nice girl” or “nice guy.”
I encourage you (and me) to find the courage to ask more questions. And to do so in a way that allows us, as individuals, to be fully seen and heard by others.
Stand up to stand out.
