I recently received the following note from a networking contact of mine. She asked me to address the problem that I shall call the desperate job seekers mindset. It can happen to both men and women, old or young, and it has become more common place in this crappy economy, where there are millions of skilled professionals out of work for long stretches of time.

Here is how my friend framed the situation for me:

“I was reading your networking “how to” this morning and saw your call for struggles that you might address in a future tip. One of the things that I hear repeatedly, usually out of frustration and/or desperation, from unemployed women professionals is “yeah, yeah, I know I need to network without asking for something, but I NEED a job.”

Do you have some suggestions for those folks who are so frantic in their job search that they have a hard time separating the more global concept of and need for networking from the immediacy of their situation?

Unfortunately, many of these people are professionals who had not previously “seen the light” or recognized the intrinsic value of networking or realized that it applied to them in both their personal and professional lives.

It is now introduced to them or re-introduced to them as a job search tool, which is often inconsistent with the overall good networking tips that we know. Make sense?”

Snap out of it!

It’s CRITICAL that you regain your composure, center yourself and come from a place of strength and abundance whenever you do any networking or job interviewing.

People can “smell” fear and panic in you and it is a most unattractive quality. In fact, it could actually repel people and opportunities from you, furthering your unemployment dilemma.

Okay, that’s easy for me to say. I’m not in your situation. But I once was. In fact, I was in that situation 5 separate times over my 25 year career. I am no stranger to being “in transition.”  This last go, I decided to hire myself and launched my entrepreneurial career –  running strong for 6 years now. (note: entrepreneurship is an option you should at least consider).

Below is a series of insights and resources to help you move from desperation mode to “coming from a place of strength”, confidence and valuing yourself each and every day. I hope it helps you and those that you care about.

How are you running your brain?

In my two years of study that led to my certification as a master practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) under the training guidance of Mark Shepard, NLPT (see his web site on mind mastery called ModernJedi.com), I learned that I could reprogram myself to get out of my own way. NLP is essentially the study of how you run your brain.  NLP is how to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve your specific and desired outcomes. (click here for a quick overview of NLP). It works. I’m living proof.

NLP taught me that when I am feeling desperate (financially, emotionally, mentally, even physically), I have entered into a un-resourceful state of being. The good news is that emotional states can change instantly, simply by changing your thoughts, feelings or even your physiology. This is why physical exercise is so good for your mental health. With every cell in your body connected to each other, you are neurologically wired to respond in accordance to your thinking/feeling/doing states.

We may not be able to change the global economy, but we have some control over our personal economy. We can master our own mind and choose our own state of being. This takes personal work, but it is well worth the effort! It puts YOU back in charge of you.

“There are no un-resourceful people, only un-resourceful states.” – Tad James, PhD., guru of Neuro Linguistic Programming NLP,

Motivational Survival Strategies during Job Search

It’s difficult to stay motivated during a job search. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and soon you find yourself falling into a mini depression. During the economic meltdown and surge in unemployment that began in 2008, many highly skilled professionals still find themselves facing longer periods of unemployment – 10-18 months or more out of  work.

Networking is a must-do activity for any job search, but there are things you need to remember to keep yourself in the most positive state of mind and body while you network and look for that next great job. Here are a few suggestions from my motivational talk called Motivated Job Search.

• Be Mindful. My networking friend Cheryl Jones of TheMindfulPath.com recommends job seekers practice mindfulness throughout the search process. She asks you to imagine that the space between this job and the next is fertile ground for what is yet to come.  Imagine that you are in preparation mode, even though you don’t know what you are preparing for. Ultimately you must protect your best asset which is your health. You must remember to take care of yourself during this process so that you can present yourself as a strong, vital person inside and out. Exercise and better nutrition may be just the ticket you need to purchase when you are in-between jobs.
  • Read this article that Cheryl Jones wrote for my blog: “A New Perspective on Being “In Transition”

• Be Valued. You must always remember that you are valuable, despite your present circumstance or shortcomings.  You are more than what you do (remember, you are a human being, not just a human doing). Your unwavering core belief in your self-worth counts for a lot in the game of life and success. People are not attracting to those who are weak, bitter or lost. To increase your networking success during your job search process, you must strengthen your inner core, your self-esteem. You must believe in yourself and see a positive future for you and others. If you don’t value yourself, it will be difficult for others to value you. You want their support, not their sympathy. And yes, you too, have a tremendous amount of value to offer others (even if you are unemployed at present).
• Be Positively Resilient. When you lose your job, it feels like you’ve been knocked down. In fact, the job search process can feel like one big boxing match in which you are getting repeatedly knocked down (or ignored, which is worse). I’m going to suggest to you that you become more like Andy Warhol, the famous American artist. On October 18, 1956 Mr. Warhol received a rejection letter from the Museum of Modern Art of New York, refusing his offer to donate his artwork entitled “Shoe.” Mr. Warhol kept this rejection letter in his files, but didn’t keep it in his heart. He went on to build a successful career and legacy. By being positively resilient, you too can be like Andy Warhol: committed, confident and able to put yourself out there over and over again until you realize your greatness.
  • Watch this video about Andy Warhol’s rejection letter from 1956.
• Be Connected. This is synonymous with networking. Having strong relationships and staying actively engaged with people will help keep you positively motivated throughout your job search. In fact, many people develop their understanding and passion for networking during a job search process. It’s when you realize how fabulous it is give and receive help from others. Why on earth anyone would abandon this powerful, positive habit is beyond me. Now that you’ve discovered the power and beauty of networking, don’t ever stop doing. Networking is a strategy for life!
• Be Visible and Mobile. This next pointer on networking for job search success comes from Claudia Lindsey, a marketing executive who found herself out of work and needing to network to land her next opportunity. She recommends that you manage your personal visibility and mobility by accumulating connections that are motivated to share information about ideas and opportunities. These valuable connections are most likely to be outside your close circles. They have access to different information pools than you do. If they have a positive impression of you, they will be more likely to help you. Accumulating more “distant” connections that are motivated to share information demands active follow-up.
  • Read this past blog post “In Networking, You are Your Follow-Up contributed by Claudia Lindsey – good stuff !
• Be Appreciative. Finally, expressing your appreciation is paramount for  your success in the job search process, networking and life in general. Being appreciative is an active, conscious effort to acknowledge and thank people for the good things they have brought into your world. Don’t assume they know how you feel about them. Tell them directly. Saying thank you is one of the most powerful leadership traits you can possess. You can show your appreciation in many different ways, but the most powerful way I have found is to say it verbally. Appreciation bonds people together in positive, permanent ways.
  • SendOutCards is a great tool to act on your promptings and show your appreciation to others in your personal and business life. Check it out at my web site: www.MotivatingCards.com

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