Have you ever met a person who just exudes generosity? I’m not talking about the kind of person who throws money around to show off their immense wealth. I mean the kind of person who has the spirit of generosity embedded into their very heart and soul. The kind of person who has made generosity part of their lifestyle, part of their daily habits. If you were to ask someone to describe that person, the word “generous” would be one of the key descriptors. An individual who has built a personal brand that purposefully includes generosity…do you know anyone like that?
Well, I just met a roomful of them. This week’s blog is inspired by the many incredible, generous speakers and authors who attended the Indie Family & Friends Forum in La Jolla, California this past weekend. (Save the date for the 2020 Indie Friends and Family Forum to be held on March 6-8, 2020 at the San Diego Marriott. Check this website for more information on this and other conference opportunities.)
Hosted by Henry DeVries and Mark LeBlanc and the hard-working team at Indie Books International publishing company, over fifty talented and motivated subject matter experts gathered together to learn from each other and share best practices. Most people came to the conference to figure out how to create an extreme sliver of focus, how to write the right book, and how to use their book as a marketing tool to grow their business and to get higher speaking fees. That was the going in motivation. The coming out motivation included things even more significant: community, connection, inspiration, momentum. Underlying the entire conference was a foundation of generosity.
What is generosity, exactly?
The Merriam-Webster online Dictionary defines generosity as “the quality of being kind and generous.” Let’s dig a little deeper to better understand the core word, the adjective generous:
- characterized by a noble or kindly spirit
- liberal in giving
- marked by abundance or ample proportions
Synonyms for the word generous include: bighearted bounteous, bountiful, charitable, freehanded, freehearted, fulsome, liberal, munificent, open, unselfish, unsparing, unstinting.
I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a personal trait worthy of our aspiration and fulfillment. Yet most of us unconsciously operate from a place of scarcity. If we are generous, kind and giving, won’t other people take advantage of us? We are constantly reminded of the risks of being vulnerable to others, of limited resources, and the need to compete and win. Modern society seems to reward those who are #1 and can beat out all others, at all costs and by any means necessary. The scarcity mindset is rampant. At its core, the scarcity mindset is driven by one thing: fear.
“People don’t take advantage of you when you are generous.”
~ Henry DeVries, best-selling author, speaker and publisher
The generosity mindset, on the other hand, is more free, open, confident, and playful. It sees the glass as half-full, not half-empty. In fact, the generosity mindset drives us to create more glasses and more fresh water for more people to drink from. Generous-minded people see themselves as part of a bigger whole, as collaborators in world peace and prosperity. A generous-minded person strives to create a world full of love, not hate. A generous-minded person is an optimist and invests in the future.
Of course, it’s one thing to SAY you are generous and another thing to live it. Adding generosity to your personal brand takes more than just adding the word to your website, bio, or LinkedIn profile. It takes action–consistent daily action–and attitude. You must strive to be generous in words, deeds and thoughts. And over time, with consistency, you will become known as a generous person. But it all starts with your intention and commitment. Here are eight ideas to get you headed in the generous direction.
1. Be generous with your money
Charity is at the heart of generosity and most people want to be charitable and make financial donations to causes that they care about. But as adults, we have a healthy dose of skepticism and fear. We are concerned about being scammed or giving money to someone who will use it to buy cigarettes, booze or drugs. We fear that our generosity and charity might only make the situation worse. So we don’t give. We just “send them our thoughts and prayers.” We look the other way and go about our daily lives. We can’t help but look at the pictures and read the stories of all the terrible things that are going wrong, but most of us prefer not to get involved. For example, consider the recent devastating series of Tornadoes that struck the state of Alabama, including an EF-4 level tornado in Lee County, resulting in 23 deaths and devastation to thousands more. As with many tragedies we are told to send out “thoughts and prayers.” That’s nice, but I think the more practical and helpful and generous thing to do is to send money to relief organizations that are on the ground. Even a small donation ($5, $10, $25) could make a difference – especially when many generous people are taking the same action. I just made a donation to Public Good who supports four agencies who are on the ground in Alabama helping people hurt by the hurricane . Or you can donate to the Alabama Governors Emergency Relief Fund. Don’t over think it. Just choose one and be generous.
2. Be generous with your network
Networking is the art of building and sustaining more mutually beneficial relationships before you need them. The spirit of networking in my book is “helping others and asking for help.” When we are effective with networking, we grow our sphere of influence, and we also build social capital. But just like financial capital, social capital doesn’t grow unless you lend and borrow it frequently. So, be generous with your social capital. Help make introductions between people who need to know each other. And don’t just stick to a tight circle of those who’ve made it. Use your network to open doors for people with ideas, aspirations, hopes and dreams. Very few of us got where we are all by ourselves. “Self-made” is really a misnomer. It takes people to help people to help people to help people achieve their potential. Be super generous in this regard. Pay it back, pay it forward. Be a master connector. Learn to connect people and ideas to create new opportunities for yourself and for many others!
3. Be generous with your platform
If you have a website, blog, podcast, conference or other platform that you can make available to someone deserving, SHARE IT. This isa photo of Mark LeBlanc, co-host of the Indie Family & Friends Forum, with Sophie Riegel, an amazing young author with a powerful story to tell, and with courage and maturity that will inspire you. She is the author of the new book, Don’t Tell Me to Relax: One Teen’s Journey to Surviving Anxiety (and How You Can, Too). Sophie was selected as the recipient for Mark’s foundation for young entrepreneurs. She won a $3,000 grant and was invited to attend the conference. Not only was she in the room, but Mark and Henry gave her several opportunities to speak from the stage. She bravely volunteered for other coaching opportunities in front of the group. By the end of the conference, not only had Sophie won our hearts, but she earned her place as a keynote speaker in the 2020 Indie Family & Friends Forum. All this was made possible because Mark and Henry shared their platform with her. And in return, Sophie will share her platform with others. What part of your platform could you generously share that would make a material difference in the life of someone else?
4. Be generous with your time
We live in a crazy busy world and are over-scheduled most of the time. Who has time for another meeting? So, we guard our time like a precious resource in need of protection. “You want to meet with me? Wait, let me check my calendar. I have an opening three weeks from now. Is that okay, Mom?” IDEA: open yourself up to being with people when they need you. Close down your laptop, shut off your digital device, turn off all other distractions, and be generous with your time and attention. Be fully present with the people who matter most: your family, your friends, your colleagues, your clients, your health.
5. Be generous with your spirit
Follow Roger’s example. He works at my local post office. When I went to mail a few copies of my new book Defining You, to key clients, he warmed my heart with his quiet, positive and generous spirit. I joked with him when he asked me the standard question–”Do any of your articles contain anything liquid, fragile, perishable, or potentially hazardous such as lithium batteries or perfume?”–with a sassy response, “No, just books. But then books can be dangerous and perishable.” To this Roger replied quietly, “Words can change the world…for the better.” When I thanked him for this inspiring reminder, he showered me with more generous thoughts (and even let me take his picture, but he was too shy to look at the camera). He said, ” I believe we can make a difference with every person we touch in our day.” Wow! Roger is living his personal brand, and his brand is generosity.
6. Be generous with your tips
Whenever you go out to a restaurant, get a beverage at a coffee shop, or stay at a hotel, consider leaving a more generous tip than you might have done in past. You don’t have to be as generous as the actor Jack Nicholson is renowned for leaving a 100% tips. Apparently, he likes to make the math easier for himself. He look at the total amount due and doubles it. Don’t just factor in the level of service you received. Remember that many of these professionals get paid very little by the hour, have long commutes, and live in high cost of living areas…just so that they can be of service to you. Also remember to recognize the “invisible” workers, like the hotel housekeepers. They provide an amazing service – they pick up after your mess and leave the place sparking clean for the next guest (which might be you). I have a practice of leaving a $5-10 cash tip in the room when I check out, and I write a personal note on the hotel note pad. I saw something like, “Thank you for your excellent service and housekeeping. Always remember, your work matters.” I trust that this recognition (both verbal and financial) will make someone feel valuable, worthy, and proud of the work they do. Let us remember to be generous in every interaction.
7. Be generous with your smile
As you may have heard, it takes more effort to put a smile on your face (literally, it involves moving your muscles). Our natural resting facial expression is more neutral or can appear downtrodden. Some of us have “thinking faces” which result in us contorting and constricting our eyes, mouth and skin so much so that we can actually scare people without intending to. One of my cats has a natural unwelcome expression that we affectionately call her Resting B_tch Face. An easy, generous thing you can do (even my cat could do it if she wanted to), is to put a SMILE on your face. Even just a “hint of a smile” can make all the difference. The next time you are out in public, walking by strangers, even answering the telephone, put a smile on your face and a smile in your voice. This is a small but important act of generosity. A smile costs you nothing but has tremendous value to others.
8. Be generous with yourself
Let’s not forget you and the importance of being kind and generous to yourself. Don’t buy the line that you’re being selfish if you spend time on yourself. That’s crazy. If you are not well cared for (body, mind, and spirit), what on earth makes you think you can care for someone else? The key is to practice generosity inside and outside of yourself. It’s not just about you, and it’s not just about them. It’s about all of us. Generosity is contagious. It spreads positive, healing energy to everyone it touches. And you, my generous reader, are part of a life-saving vaccine that will protect and prolong a peaceful world for all to enjoy. Kick off your shoes and feel the cool sensation of generosity under your feet.
p.s. Please be GENEROUS by sharing this blog post on your social media to encourage others to make generosity part of their lifestyle.
