Only 56 miles from my home in Connecticut, a tragedy has struck and it has rocked our nation. Like many of you, I was busy “doing my own thing,” wrapped up in my projects and priorities on Friday morning, completely unaware of the horror that was taking place at Sandy Hook elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. Receiving the news and watching it unfold on national media was shell shocking.

How do you process something this awful?

A friend just emailed me today and asked me to write on this subject. At first, I was at a loss for words. I am not a grief counselor or expert in this field. I’m just an ordinary person, like you, trying to make sense of the unthinkable. I want to help in some way. Perhaps this blog is one way that I can help the healing process.

Here is what my networking friend asked of me:

“In the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, I find myself hesitant to engage in networking activities with people, as I do not know quite how to address the issue with a business associate.  On one side, ignoring it and focusing on the business at hand seems strange.  On the other side, engaging in conversation about it may be unwelcome and uncomfortable.  Maybe you could offer some advice regarding how to deal with these sorts of issues in your next email newsletter? I, along with many others, am appreciating the individuals in my life even more since this tragedy is a reminder of just how how quickly things can change” – Kellie Fenton

How do you move on after something like this?

Robbie Parker, father of 6-year old Emily Parker, one of the 27 victims in the shooting, gave a moving interview on CNN. As you watch this emotional video, pay attention to the inspiring words of forgiveness and hope from this grieving father (time code: 1:20):

“As we move on from what happened here, what happened to so many people, let it not turn into something that defines us, but something that inspires us to be better, to be more compassionate and more humble people. The best thing that I can think of to do to move on is to help other people. When you help other people, you feel better about yourself. And the more people that help other people, the more people are blessed.”

Positive actions you can take to heal from this tragedy

Here are a number of ways in which you can help yourself and others heal from the tragedy of Sandy Hook elementary school:

1. Reassure your children that school is a safe environment. Read this blog posted on HuffingtonPost.
2. Learn more about how children handle grief as shared by the American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry. 
3. Be one of the millions of people who have signed the online petition for the national sympathy card – http://www.causes.com/actions/1715318
4. Spend more time with your kids and the people that you love. Try to put aside petty differences and nagging work commitments and make today count.
5. Perform a random act of kindness for a stranger. Donate money to your local senior center. Purchase and deliver nonperishable food (that you, yourself would eat) to your local food bank. Be more considerate on the roads and in the parking lots – defer to someone else, rather than fighting about it.
6. Declare a moratorium (e.g., 30-days or more) on violent movies and violent video games that you and your family watch for “entertainment purposes.” Don’t allow violence to become the new normal in your family life.
7. Focus on the good in humanity. Balance your media intake with an equal portion of good news. NPR, national public radio, is a great source for professional journalism that is both informative and uplifting.
8. Talk about your feelings. We may have different views about certain issues, such as gun control and violence, but we all share in the sadness and grief over the loss of so many innocent, young lives. Acknowledging and talking about our feelings is part of the healing process.
9. Consider using more sensitive salutations and sign off greetings. Rather than “Happy Holidays” (which might come off as trite given the state of the world), type a more thoughtful and inspiring wish. For example, I just closed a client  email with “I wish you a very special holiday, as you reflect upon all that is good and right in our world.”
10. Sandra Centorino, co-founder of www.SayItForward.me, said it best on her Facebook page: “If you are holding a grudge of any kind or feel hate with someone you know, a family member, colleague, schoolmate, anyone. LET IT GO and BE KIND. This life is so short and to put yourself through this. It is going to cause more pain, stress and misery to not only you and your own heart and life, but what YOU are doing to others is even worse. Appreciate what you have and accept everyone, because tomorrow that person could be GONE.”
11. Keep on networking and helping other people. Look for ways to help people personally, as well as professionally. With every networking call, meeting and digital touch point, express your appreciation for people and ask how you can be of service to them or others in their network.

Your Networking Goal for this Week

This week, look for as many ways as possible to make this world a better place. Leverage your network and your influence to heal and to help others. Refuse to be sucked into the black hole of judgment and negativity. Instead, choose to be a positive force in the world.